Tuesday, May 6, 2008

A Dirty Little Secret No More

Doug is a very handy man, which is a good thing. A blessing, in fact. While he knows a bit about almost every trade, his least favorite tasks have to do with plumbing. As luck would have it, he had to do a bit of that since our return home.

Our hall bathroom's tub was draining slow (mind you, I didn't notice), so Doug decided to explore the problem. In doing so, he knocked a clump of hair further down the drain & was unable to retrieve it, making the problem a lot worse. Apparently, this clump of hair was colossal, because even after going downstairs to work at it from there, he couldn't knock it loose. He even cut his arm trying to take care of it! (His arm is fine.) As I said, Doug hates plumbing, so after a while he started to get pissed & decided he needed to quit for the night.

After Doug's shower this morning, he had to bail out the tub so that I could take one. He felt confident that after some time away from the problem, he'd be able to approach it with a fresh attitude this evening. But there was this one little problem....

While I was drying my hair in the master bathroom, I noticed that the shower was full of water. Oh no. I called Doug, & upon seeing this, he let loose a blue streak that could rival...well, me. It wasn't just the water in the shower...there was a bigger issue.

Let me give you some background.

When we moved into this house 7 years ago, I used our miniscule - & I do mean miniscule -master bathroom for showering & getting ready for work in the morning. Until one day.... I was in the shower, & all of a sudden, I felt something hit my ankle. I looked down & realized that the shower stall was flooded. I was afraid that I'd flood the bathroom if I opened the shower door, so I yelled for Super Doug to come to my rescue. Once the water went down, he checked it out & declared that there was a crack in the shower & that we'd need to replace it. Until we did that, we could no longer use the shower. No problem, I'd just shower in the hall bathroom. The water did cause irreparable damage to the tile floor, so he took all of that out. So, every morning, I dry my hair & put on my makeup standing on subfloor. Joy. Even so....

One day, I walked into the master bathroom to brush my hair (I still used the room to get ready), & I gasped at what I saw.

Me: "Doug!!! The shower doors are gone!"

Those damned shower door stealing goblins can be sneaky, you know...

Doug: "I know. I've never liked them, so I took them down. They're at the curb."

Huh? No goblins?

While I was watching a movie - clearly, I was very into it, whatever it was - the master bathroom had been bombed. Or at least, it looked like it had been. Not that it was showroom quality before, but it looked AWFUL. I never thought that I would or could ever actually hate a room, but over time, I did.

You see, we never replaced the shower or the floor. Our money went to vet bills, Gordon (my dad, for those of you that don't know him...trust me - you will if you keep track of this blog), a 50" HD plasma TV, or to finance our obsession with the Caribbean. NOT the house, where perhaps it should've gone.

In the meantime, I used the broken, outdated, doorless shower stall as a catch-all... I tossed everything in there - magazines, books, catalogs, hair appliances I wasn't using, purses, etc., etc. Funny thing is, I hate clutter, & I really do try to keep our house clean (5 dogs & a man live in this house - it's a must). In spite of this, the master shower became of pit of...crap. My dirty little secret...or at least one of them. Heh.

Until tonight.

While Doug went downstairs to tackle The Beast, I, armed with trash bags & rubber gloves, fervently attacked The Dump.

Wet books, magazines, purses (sob!), a curling iron, velcro curlers, a bathmat or 2, some photos of my nephew - yeah, I'm not so sure how those got there, either - & various other unrecognizable items were all thrown into trash bags. Beyond saving. Covered in stinky black drain sludge. Foulness. Nasty, nasty, nasty.

Blech.

After all of that unpleasantness, I'm happy to report that the drain is no longer clogged & my dirty little secret is no more. It ain't spotless, but it's a start. I don't know when we're going to get around to re-doing the master bathroom - it was supposed to be this summer, but we're going to be hit with another big vet bill on Friday. Oh, & we've been to Mexico....& we have our Christmas trip booked. (You guessed it, the Caribbean. Jamaica, to be exact.) However, after what I've been through tonight, I'm not going to hate on our master bathroom anymore, regardless of whether it's "done" or not. Honest - I've learned my lesson... hating a room is just silly.

Now that I've told you mine....

7 comments:

Blue Ice Dave said...

Gee, now I don't feel so bad about our master bathroom not being painted...We only bought the paint over a year ago. Some things just seem to fall by the wayside with time slipping away.

Danny said...

I have installed toilets, put in new sinks, fixed leaking pipes because I was too poor to hire someone to do it. I effing hate plumbing.....

Claire Uncorked said...

Dave, I'm so glad that I could ease your conscience a bit! I doubt your lack of painting will jump up to bite you in the ass...

Danny, that's exactly what Doug says. He HATES it, but if he can do it himself, he will.

Anonymous said...

I'm so jealous that you have a master bath...I only have one of them. Although the local plumber is rather fine looking - at 300 dollars a visit I think I ought to at least get kissed or something - so I do my own plumbing work whenever possible.

I don't envy you that gooey mess - been there, done that with a basement sewer line backup....but on the bright side - now you have the beginnings of what might eventually become an awesome bath. Assuming Doug's aim is good - just toss carpet over the subfloor....no one will know.

Claire Uncorked said...

"Assuming Doug's aim is good" - ha! It is, but I just thought that was funny. A lot of women complain about that, but that's not an issue, thank goodness!

Oh, Em, our master bath is so very, very tiny...I can do everything from sitting on the toilet - open the door, turn on the faucet, whatever. We'd love to put a tub in there, but it's too small for even the smallest tub. If it wouldn't screw up the resale value so badly, I'd turn it into a closet in a heartbeat.

Thom said...

Any easing of David’s conscience does little to ease mine. You see, it is “my” bathroom (we each have our own – something I highly recommend to maintain a healthy relationship). I did the scraping, sanding, filling, and re-sanding, oh… well over a year ago. The paint was also bought around that time. Eventually, David was good enough to remove the plastic, my treasured Purdy paintbrushes, and all of the instruments of guilt that faced me every day as I got ready for work, and discreetly put them in a closet. So while the new towel bar (quite nice, I might add) has also been purchased, no towel is hanging from it because it too, is in a closet.

All I can say in my defense is that I finished his bathroom first. And it looks great! Hmmmm… it’s been a while since I looked at those paint brushes…

LucyinStLou said...

Such a pain, but you'll be so happy when it's finished. Thank goodness Doug is so handy. You'll save tons on those costs at least!